Like every business which publishes an email address online, I get unsolicited emails. Some of these are out-and-out spam; others could be considered cold email outreach.
B2B email outreach is a valid marketing tactic – as long as you’re careful to stick to the law and avoid spam. (As noted on this page from ACMA, there is wiggle room around ‘marketing messages relevant to your role or position if you make your email address or phone number public‘.)
Is it effective? It can be, but only if you do it right. Unfortunately, not everyone does. Here’s an example of cold email outreach I received recently, with an analysis of the issues I found in the campaign.
Let’s start with the outreach email
The screenshot below is the original email, with three issues highlighted.
But before we look at those issues, let’s just check what the offer is. It’s a free Hubspot CRM demo. And the benefit is streamlined business processes. Remember that – till the end of this article at least.
Outreach email mistake no 1: wrong name
I don’t get a lot of emails which start ‘Hi, Sarah, I hope you’re doing well‘ – mostly because my name isn’t Sarah!
Anyone taking my email address from my website should be able to find out my name. It’s on the second line of the ‘About‘ page. But these guys got it wrong.
We all know how annoying it is when someone calls you by the wrong name, or spells your name wrongly. Not a good start.
Outreach email mistake no 2: inconsistent formatting
OK, this is a bit fussy of me, but what’s with the random inconsistent spacing between paragraphs on this email?
(And the inconsistent full stops on only two of three bullet points, now I think of it!)
Outreach email mistake no #3: errors in English
‘Understand which marketing channel and sales team members are performing well.‘
I think they mean channels plural. It is possible to have more than one marketing channel perform well!
***
What’s frustrating about this is that it comes from a marketing agency. Exactly the people who should get this kind of detail right.
What about the next step? When I click?
So I clicked on the link to ‘schedule a complimentary demo’. Here’s what I got.
Mistake no 4: no reference to the offer after clicking through
The link takes me straight to a calendar booking system. It’s a logical next step, but there’s nothing on this page which confirms exactly what I’m booking.
Reassure me. Add something to link this page to the original offer in the email. (A complimentary demo of Hubspot so I can learn how it will streamline my business, just in case you’ve forgotten already.)
Easy fix. Change ‘Find a time to meet with [company name]’ to ‘Book a Hubspot CRM demo with [company name]’, or something similar. Sure, that means a dedicated link to a calendar booking for this campaign only – but really, that’s not hard.
Mistake no 5: confusing options
The question ‘How long do you need?‘ stumped me. They invited me to a demo. How am I meant to know how long it takes for them to demo the software?
Either take the choice away or rephrase this. ‘Would you prefer an overview or an in-depth demo?‘
And then I looked at their website…
They told me to, right there in their email. ‘For more information, please visit our website‘. With a link. So I clicked on it.
Mistake no 6: What was that offer again?
I’ve clicked through for more information about Hubspot. How it can work for my business. How it can transform my revenue growth.
What do I get? A paragraph telling me that this agency can do all things Hubspot. Guess what? I kinda worked that out already. I was after more information about what exactly all those things might be, and why they might matter to me.
Mistake no 7: What was the offer again? (Again!)
Not only that, but the default call to action on this page is about getting a stunning website.
Huh?
A website?
A moment ago in the email, they were talking about a CRM and how to streamline processes so I can grow my business. They offered me a demo. And now they want me to request a quote for a website. What? Why? Where did that come from?
So I took a look at the other options to see if I could request a demo from one of them.
No option to get a complimentary demo. No option to ask about improving processes or streamlining my business.
(And let’s not even start on the random capitalisation of ‘Digital Strategy’ and ‘Software’ in these options. Hurts my perfectionist wordy soul…)
***
…let’s leave it there. I explored the website further. I found more issues to complain about. But the focus of this post is the cold email outreach campaign, and it only links to the calendar and this one page. Besides, there’s more than enough to learn already! Here are the key lessons.
Lessons for your own cold email outreach
- Do your research and get your data right.
- Have a clear, consistent offer which is the same at every step of the campaign. (Email, landing page, any additional pages.)
- Check, check and double check before you send!
(Not just because some nitpicky little content marketer is out there waiting to tear your campaign to shreds, but because it might help you convert more clients!)
…and as I said right at the beginning, make sure you comply with the Spam Act too!
If it all sounds too much to do alone, maybe I can help?
